I love snooping! That’s why I go to open houses. Even if I can’t afford the house, I love to go in and see why they painted the walls that hideous fluorescent green, or why they chose those god awful lamps with matching pink pillows. It bides the time while my wife (the serious one when it comes to these things) looks at the prospective place as her next purchase.
Sometimes I think that open houses were created for the realtors themselves to show that they are actually working. Most open houses occur on the weekend – duh! That’s when most people are off of work, and able to go to these things, but who wants to work on a weekend! I believe that most of the time open houses are a huge waste of time. Here are my top secret tips to survive an open house.
Do it on a Sunday
– Plan your open houses on a Sunday, as I find that there are way more listings planned for that day so that you can coast from house to house so your (insert husband or wife here) doesn’t complain that we are taking six hours out of their (insert male or female show here) watching time to look at a cardboard box.
Eat lunch before you go
– You never know what they made those cookies out of – See rule # 5.
Bring slip-on shoes
– It’s so awkward standing there and talking to an agent for 10 minutes while your wife is trying to put her high heel boots on. Leave the fashion trends at home!
DON’T take your agent
– They are annoying. If you take them then you have to explain to them what you did or did not like about the house. Go alone. If you want to tell the agent, or have a second look, then bring them.
NEVER eat the food
– I’m sure that Aunt Betties home baked cookies look great, but if you take a bite, then the agents have reeled you in. There’s a reason that the plate always looks so full!
They are never THAT cool
– Houses are always staged by the real estate agent before you enter the home, it is usually better to take a look at the place on a private showing to see how the owner really looks after the place (minus the jazz music, fresh flowers and lighted candles.. as nobody is ever THAT cool).
NEVER take cards, pamphlets, papers or anything really
– You totally know that they will send you a billion emails if you write your contact information down!
ALWAYS have a “back out plan”
– Making up an excuse to leave is just awkward for everybody involved. Instead of saying that you can hear your mother calling, just say that your cat broke its leg falling off the counter and you have to go.
NEVER under any circumstances use the bathroom
– Common sense wins this one
ALWAYS have fun
– These things are quite boring, dull and predictable. You need to make it exciting in order to have any fun with it. Try funny hat/mask day.
There you have it, using these simple tips and tricks; you will be in and out of an open house in no time!