This Dear Wendy letter at CNN Living, I’m Afraid to Date Because I’m $190,000 in Debt, brought out my judgmental side. Here’s how I see it:
A 31-year-old guy has $190,000 in student loan debt but he’s not a doctor. He actually writes,
Aside from that scary number, I am financially responsible and have a promising career with a high income trajectory ahead of me. How I arrived at that $190,000 is moot, but what isn’t is the psychological handicap I’ve developed.
Blah, blah, blah – he’s scared to date because he scared of chasing women off with this OH-MY-SWEET-JESUS debt.
Well, DUH. I’m not even in the dating pool and $190,000 of student loan debt seems like a dang big hurdle to me. I almost choked on my sweet tea when he said “I am financially responsible” and “How I arrived at that $190,000 is moot”. Excuse me?
That kind of debt leads me to believe that he is definitely NOT financially responsible and I doubt any of his future dates would think the why to be moot. I sure don’t. WHY? WHY DO YOU HAVE $190,000 IN STUDENT LOANS?
I’ll just ponder on that for a second. My 4 year college education and living expenses cost about $70,000. About 50% – 60% of that and was covered by scholarships and my parents. I worked 2-3 part-time jobs at any given time to cover the rest.
That means he ran up almost 3 times as much debt as what my education cost in total. Did he not apply for any scholarships at all? Grants? Any jobs? What’s scary is that he might have and really spent nearly a quarter of a million dollars in college. That makes me slightly ill.
Maybe he really has some awesome reasons, but we’ll never know because he deems them moot. So yes, I am being judgy. But, I bet I am not alone. I also bet that he is very right and will have a limited dating pool. Women interested in dating big debt either have no plans on marrying big debt or don’t mind big debt for moot reasons of their own. Either way, I don’t see a lot of security in his future.
Am I being too harsh? What were your first thoughts?