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Letter to Myself 10 Years Down the Road

In March, Ninja at Punch Debt in the Face wrote a letter to himself 10 years later and challenged others to do the same.  I came across one of those letters in late March at Fiscal Geek and another mid-April at 151 Days Off.  The letters were amazing and made me want to participate.  Here’s what I’d write to my 37 year old self:

Table of Contents

Dear Red,

You’ve been with hubby for 19 years now…are we happily celebrating our 15th anniversary?  Do you still snuggle in the mornings before work or give each other head massages when you’re stressed?  Do you still make each other laugh?  Does he still refuse to let you cook the main meals because he “fears death”, oh, and does he still over-compliment your sandwiches in an attempt to get you to make them instead?  Most importantly, are you two still in love? 

If you answered no to any of these, you should work on that.  Laugh more.  Loosen up.  Unless of course he did something supremely crappy.  Then you should…never mind…leave no proof.  🙂

So, did we change our minds on the kid front?  If we didn’t, do we have more dogs?  If we did, I hope he or she is healthy and not a pain-in-the-butt like you were.  I would hate for Mom to have been right.  You know any kid you have is going to be a smart-a$$, right?  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Is hubby a great dad?  I bet he surprised himself.

How is our money looking?  Did BFS take off?  Is the house paid off as planned?  Did hubby talk you into trading up yet?  I hope not.  Stick to your guns and keep his mind off it.  You know how…buy him some board games or something.  (Haha, you didn’t think that was what I was going to say).

Anyway, are we still on track to retire in 15 more years?  If not, why?  I don’t want to work into our 60’s, do you? Got any advice on medigap policies? Trying to help parents with this right now and I guess I too need a better understanding of these policies for my later years.

Are you still a nice person?  Have you made someone random smile today?  I hope we still have a good sense of humor.  I also hope we still help others.  If you haven’t volunteered for a while, schedule that for this weekend.  You know you want to and there are a ton of places that appreciate our time.

Okay, please make sure that you make the rest of our life fun.  Love hubby some more, you know he’s crazy about you.  Make a silly joke or use that kid voice we always fall into.  If you haven’t been silly lately, man up and try it out.  You know we love to laugh.

Sincerely,

Red at 27…the one who hopes we had a great 10 years…

That was fun.  Do any of you have any comments or questions for your future selves?

12 thoughts on “Letter to Myself 10 Years Down the Road”

  1. Everyday Tips

    What a fun post! I think it is so important to remember the spouse like you did, as sometimes, they can be the first to be disregarded. (For some, it is just too easy to take the one closest to your for granted, because you can probably.)

    My letter would cover the following:
    *Are the kids ok? Did we get them through college? (Oh my gosh, my kids will all be graduated from college in 10 years, how depressing. Life goes too fast.)
    *Is the house paid off? It better be or we really screwed up
    *Are we healthy? Did we take care of ourselves or let ourselves go because it was easier?
    *Did we take care of our moms? If they are still alive, can we look back and think we did all we could to help them?
    *Are my husband and I still having the fun we have always had? Are we still talking before we fall asleep at night? Are we still laughing at the small things? Are we still remembering what we always appreciated about each other? Are we traveling and trying new experiences?

    Wow, I really enjoyed that. Sorry for such a long response. I am sure I could add more, but I need to get my day moving!

  2. BFS

    Everyday Tips, yeah, you really have to work to make sure you don’t take your spouse for granted. We talk before bed too and I also hope that never stops.

    I like your points! Remembering to laugh at the little stuff is so important. Never feel bad about leaving long comments on BFS…I like hearing what everybody has to say!

  3. MyFinancialObjectives

    Nice letter! I really liked this exercise as well, I enjoyed writing mine a while back! Also I like the new theme, much better!

  4. BFS

    Thanks MyFinancialObjectives!

    WP Spam Guard seems to dislike your name or something since they keep sending your comments to my spam folder waiting for approval. I’m looking into getting you permanently approved so your comments don’t sit around waiting for me. I just wanted you to know that I’m working on it and really appreciate your comments and readership!

  5. Money Reasons

    Nice job, loved the letter!!!

    Kids are funny… I wasn’t to excited to have them, but my wife was (and still is baby crazy).

    I have to admit, I didn’t feel those warm fatherly feelings… until my kids were 6 months old. After that point, I seem to get it and then fall in love with my kids. I initially resisted my daughter, but now I’m wrapped around her pinky and she knows it.

    I don’t know if I’m putting my thoughts where they shouldn’t be or not, and I’m not aggressively trying to influence you, but my kids complete my life in a way that I wouldn’t have understood prior to having kids.

    My only regret is that we didn’t travel and do more fun stuff as a couple first! It would have been better to get the adventurous side out of my system first…

    Thanks for sharing, you and your husband sound like an incredible couple! Kudos to both of you!

  6. BFS

    Money Reasons, you are always more than welcome to put your thoughts wherever on BFS. 🙂

    I take absolutely no offense from happy parents and I wish there were more of you!

    I don’t mind discussing our parenthood status either.

    My husband and I are inherently lazy and selfish – have I mentioned we have a biweekly housekeeper, a lawn guy, and take random vacations whenever we can find the time and budget the money? I also paid someone else to migrate my site since I didn’t want to deal with as much.

    In my experience, kids require patience and tons of selflessness…at least, that’s what I think kids need to have a happy childhood. There in lies the rub.

    My sisters were born when I was 8 and 13 and I resented them every time I changed a diaper or was told to babysit them instead of dating. I was a crappy big sister since I rarely put their feelings before my own. I still don’t understand them very much…I keep hoping that we’ll get closer when we’ve all been adults for a while.

    My husband is an only child with no cousins or anything. Kids used to scare him but now he’s been an 8th grade Science teacher for 4 years. It’s gone from fear to annoyance and a little humor…

    We might have kids someday, but I don’t see it in our near future. Our clocks are just not ticking but we’re keeping open minds. 🙂

    Thanks for the kudos! We’ve only been married for 5 years (started dating 9 years ago), but we hope to be a super cute couple for the next 60 years or so, lol.

  7. Squirrelers

    I like this letter idea. Hmm…I’ll have to think of what to say to my 49 year old self. Actually, that statement just put things in perspective: 10+ years and I’ll be 50. You know, as I approach 40, I’m realizing that it’s all good and enjoy what you have.

    So, my letter would ask questions such as:
    – Was I the best dad I could be? (I say dad, as “daddy” may be out of fashion in my home at that point”)
    – Was I the best husband I could be?
    – Did I really work hard to make dreams come true?
    – Did I live every day with true purpose?
    – Was I a good citizen, who helped others without expecting anything back?
    – Did I take care of my elderly parents with true honor and respect?
    – Did I achieve significant progress toward financial freedom?

    Funny, it really is the people that are important in this list, not necessarily financial or other goals.

  8. BFS

    Squirrelers, yeah I was surprised how little I thought about money when I wrote this. Money is in my head every day and I’m a flippin’ personal finance blogger, but the important things in my life are the people and how I behave. I actually liked myself more after I wrote this, lol.

  9. Julie

    Crystal, Nice new site! I’ve just gotten back from a trip to Sesame Place with the little ones and am relaxing while they are sleeping.

    Since we are the same age, I would also be writing to my 37 year old self.

    My letter would ask myself the following:
    -Did we pay off our house yet?
    -Do I still make sure to appreciate the husband?
    -How are our kids doing in school? Extracurricular activities? Did my husband convince me to not have a third child? Or do we have a lot more than three children now?
    -Our 5th anniversary is also coming up soon so I would love to know what we have planned for our 15th anniversary.
    -How is the work situation? What are you working on/doing now?
    -How are the plans for Disney coming along? Have we gone yet?

    I’m another one to advocate children. They really do bring more to my life than I ever imagined. We did travel and explore before we had children so this might have affected my viewpoint on this. Now I make plans and take the kids along. I plan to take them to a zoo and to Amish country sometime this summer. When they are older, I am planning on more cruises. We also took our older daughter with us overseas for a month right when she was about to turn 1. She loved it. Sharing those travel experiences not just with my husband but also with my daughter just made it all the more fun.

  10. BFS

    Julie, you and I have similar goals and creepily similar lives, lol. 🙂

    I’m so glad your kids add to your life too. It’s awesome to know that there are so many happy families out there! If hubby and I have kids, I hope to be a great parent too. If not, you all can come and visit all my foster and rescue dogs, lol.

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